


I Think About It 24/7

by lunalius



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Halloween, M/M, Taeten is brief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalius/pseuds/lunalius
Summary: Kun wakes up hungover in a familiar bed.





	I Think About It 24/7

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't intending on writing a Halloween fic because I'm not fussed about Halloween, but Things Happened. It's not really overdue if I started writing it after Halloween was over.  
> It's been edited but I couldn't find any actual grammar and spelling mistakes, even though I know they're there because I noticed them as I was writing.  
> Title is from 24/7 by EXO.

Kun woke up with aching bones and a throbbing headache and he already knew he was in for a terrible morning. He was never much good at remembering what he got up to while he was drunk either, so he was resigned to a guessing game based on how bad his hangover turned out to be.

The bedroom he’d woken up in was unfamiliar, but the plushies were not. Kun noted, with horror, the blue whale tucked into his arm. The moleskine on the side table, the fleece jacket hanging off a hook on the wall – he knew it all too well.

“Hey,” Johnny said, walking in with a bottle of water. “Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah,” Kun croaked. He pinched the base of his throat. Had he lost his voice?

“Too much Baileys,” Johnny explained. “Your throat is probably a bit soar, so the water’s hot. If you need to throw up, bathroom’s just out the door to your right.”

“Thank you,” Kun whispered hoarsely, hoping Johnny would hear him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he nodded. “Take your time, I’m still making breakfast.” He paused, and turned around. “Oh, and you asked me to remind you to buy Taeyong a bottle of Baileys?”

Kun groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Oh god.”

Johnny chuckled, leaving the room as loudly as he’d entered, the thuds of his feet and the familiar laugh echoing around his skull.

It was going to be a long morning.

……………

“Relax, Jeno,” Ten chirped, patting the boy on the shoulder. “I’m pretty sure Taeyong said there would be people your age around.”

“And if there aren’t, you can always just stick with me,” Doyoung added. “It’s not like I’m going to socialise much anyway.”

“I think I might stick to you anyway,” Jeno admitted. “We’re matching, right? There’s no point hanging out with other people.”

Doyoung beamed at his brother and Kun’s heart softened a little.

The door swung open to reveal Taeyong, wide-eyed and a hand on his hip. “You boys are here early!”

“Oh my god, Li Syaoran!” Ten swooped in and placed the quickest, sloppiest kiss on his lips, knocking his beret out of place and not even giving the boy a chance to react to it. “You’re so adorable!”

“Gross,” Doyoung muttered under his breath.

“Thanks,” Taeyong blinked, adjusting his hat. “What are you supposed to be?”

“The new Mona Lisa.” Ten picked his frame up from where it was resting on the outside wall. “C’mon, let me help you set up.”

Taeyong threw his boyfriend an affectionate glance before ushering the other three inside. “Ah, a king and the crown prince! You two are so cute!”

“Thank you,” Jeno beamed. Doyoung threw him a wave and ushered the both of them down the corridor.

“And you,” Taeyong said, when Kun stepped in after them, “You’re a minion.”

Kun flushed. “Shut up.”

“No, you actually make it look good! I’m not completely disgusted so that’s a win.”

“I guess I’ll take what I can get,” Kun sighed, before moving towards the living room where he assumed everyone else was waiting. Taeyong tugged at his elbow.

“Wait,” he said, voice quieter. “You should know Johnny’s here.”

Kun’s eyes narrowed. “Johnny? From college?” Taeyong nodded. “He’s here?”

“I didn’t know till today either. Apparently he and my roommate work together.”

Kun bit his lip. Johnny had moved back to Chicago a long time ago, and they were both under the impression that he’d never be coming back to town – unless it was to visit.

“Thank you for telling me,” Kun finally said.

Taeyong squeezed his elbow. “It’s no problem. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

Kun laughed dryly. “I mean, better now than seeing it for myself when I walk into the kitchen, right?”

It was going to be a long night.

……………

Kun did end up throwing his guts up in Johnny’s toilet bowl. He was amazed he even made it to the right place in time. Johnny had left him a spare toothbrush – at least, he hoped it was a spare and not someone else’s – and he took his time to brush all unpleasantness out of his mouth. His head still ached. He still wanted death.

Johnny was plating up some scrambled eggs on toast when Kun finally made it into his kitchen. It struck Kun that he was in a loft, one of those trendy ones with the large windows and piping that hadn’t been covered over. Johnny’s kitchen had a marble island and a chimney and a herb garden hanging from the tile wall. Everything looked expensive.

“Thank you,” Kun said quietly, when Johnny slid his plate over. “Ugh, I’m parched.”

“What happened to the water I gave you?”

“Finished it.”

Johnny’s answering smile was brief enough that Kun might have missed it – he didn’t. It was too affectionate, and Kun felt his heart crumble.

“Did we sleep together?” Kun asked suddenly as Johnny placed a full glass in front of him. He could see the man stumble, his wrist clench and unclench as he stood to his full height.

“No,” Johnny replied tightly, “What makes you think we did?”

“I don’t know?” Kun asked. “I woke up in your bed –”

“But you still have your clothes on.”

Kun looked down at his overalls – and so he did. He ran a hand through his hair and found it stiff between his fingers. “Oh my god, am I still _yellow_?”

Johnny laughed heartily, looking a little more relaxed. “Of course. I assumed you didn’t want me to bathe you while you were still passed out.”

“I passed out?”

“Yep. And I couldn’t find Ten or Doyoung or Taeyong to take you home, so I brought you here instead.” Johnny pursed his lips. “Is that okay?”

Kun took a large gulp of his water. “Yeah. That’s okay.”

……………

“A minion, huh?” Johnny asked, eyebrow raised. Kun could see the mischief in his eyes and felt, much to his dismay, a rush of affection in his chest.

Kun didn’t give Johnny the satisfaction of a frown. Instead he smiled brightly. “And you’re Tony the Tiger.”

“That is correct.”

“I hope you’re aware of all the Tony the Tiger porn that was going around on tumblr last year.”

Johnny’s grin was disgustingly sleazy. “Yeah. I am.”

Kun scoffed. He hadn’t expected Johnny to actually know about the porn, so he wasn’t sure where to go from there. “Do you have matches?”

“I have Taeil’s lighter.”

“Right.” Kun placed a pack of tea lights in front of the first of many hollowed-out pumpkins lying across Taeyong’s backyard. “Let’s get to work.”

Johnny sat on the ground next to Kun and watched as he ripped open the plastic wrapping. “It’s been a while, huh?”

Kun didn’t bother looking up. “You didn’t tell me you were back in town.”

“Uh, yeah. I moved earlier this year.”

“Oh, so you’ve been here a while.”

Kun held a candle up between the two of them, still refusing to look at Johnny directly. Johnny fiddled with the lighter for a while before finally lighting it, and Kun placed it inside.

“It looks good.”

“Hm.”

It wasn’t until they’d placed a candle inside the second pumpkin that Johnny spoke up again: “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“Don’t apologise.” Kun gave him a tight smile. “You weren’t obliged to say anything.”

“Sure, but it would have been. I don’t know.” Johnny shrugged. “We were close once, weren’t we?”

Kun licked his lips. “Yeah. Once.”

……………

Kun agreed to shower and clean up at Johnny’s only because he insisted, and not because some masochistic part of him was delighted at the idea of wearing Johnny’s clothes that were offered to him for his trip home.

Johnny still used the same brand of shampoo. Kun needed about five times to rinse all the spray dye off of his hair anyway. He certainly wasn’t pleased that by the end of it he smelt just like Johnny too.

The whole bathroom smelt like Johnny. It was the shampoo and the soap and the scented candle that he always used to light in his dorm room. The open toothpaste tube lay on the side of the basin exactly like it did in the past. His towel was ultra soft and probably new – just how Johnny liked it. His skincare products probably rested in a pink plastic container in the cabinet below the basin.

‘God,’ Kun thought, ‘He really hasn’t changed at all.’

“Kun?” Johnny called from the other side of the bathroom door, “You done?”

“Not quite!” Kun called, “It’s taking a while to get all the paint off.”

“Well, I left your clothes on my bed when you’re done. I’ll be facing the other way so I won’t see you jump out, if you’re worried about that.”

“It’s fine! Thank you!”

Kun heard Johnny shuffle away from the door and let out the breath he was holding. He wasn’t intending on walking out of Johnny’s bathroom – accessible only from the living room – in only a towel. He was just going to wear his minion costume from last night and change out of it.

If it was the other way round, Kun knew he wouldn’t have minded Johnny walking out in only a towel. He’d seen it once before, a long time ago, and it was enough that Kun never stopped thinking about it for a week after.

‘No,’ Kun reprimanded himself, ‘Stop it. We are not living out our college fantasies today.’

……………

Someone brought alcohol to what was meant to be a chill Halloween get-together. Ten was thrilled, Doyoung was massively displeased. But he managed to convince all the minors to join him in the city’s big Halloween parade, so he was no longer a concern.

Kun had no strong feelings towards alcohol, but he had to admit it was tempting considering how emotionally volatile he’d been all evening.

It was his third soju in two hours and about to be his fifth go at the karaoke. He was so drunk he felt like he was going to get boils from the heat building up beneath his overalls and his beanie and the paint.

“Hey, Kun, _whoa_.” Lucas stopped waving his hammer in the air when Kun walked by the kitchen counter, where he was standing with all the drinks. “You look kind of wasted. What’s up?”

Kun sniffed. “You’re too hot.”

“…What?”

“You’re like a human heater. Don’t come near me.”

“Oh.” Lucas laughed and it was enough to make the earth shake. “You okay, though? You’ve never drunk this much.”

Kun leaned against counter next to him, disappointed that the cool of the marble wouldn’t spread through his clothes. He supposed he’d feel it if he stripped everything off and climbed up onto the counter, maybe stuck his head into the esky, but a very small part of his brain was telling him that wasn’t such a good idea and he was inclined to listen.

He could see Johnny on the far end of the living room, an arm around Taeyong’s roommate (dressed as a mailman), laughing obnoxiously at something he said. He tore his gaze away and looked down at the array of drinks behind him.

“Do we only have beer and soju?” Kun asked.

“Uh, no,” Lucas murmured, pouting. “I think Ten mentioned Taeyong keeps Baileys on the top shelf.”

Immediately, Kun rummaged through the shelves, somehow managing to climb onto the counter without incident and pull the big bottle out without incident. He grabbed a red cup that was lying nearby and poured it straight in.

“Don’t you want to have that with ice?” Lucas asked.

“No.” Kun threw his head back and swallowed half the contents down in one go.

Lucas whistled. “ _Dude_.”

“I like it like this.”

“Who’s that guy you were looking at? In the tiger costume?”

Kun ignored Lucas’ question in lieu of drinking the rest of his cup and pouring himself another one.

“Kun?”

“It’s Johnny. From college.”

“Oh.” Lucas suddenly seemed to grow taller next to him. “Oh, _shit_.”

“I’ve moved on, I think.”

“Pretty sure you didn’t, I know you too well.” Lucas stopped for a breath. “And also Sicheng said when you guys met up last week that you immediately went from whining about being single into talking about how you and Johnny could have worked out if you’d both just –”

Kun wasn’t sure if he tuned Lucas out or he’d actually stopped talking (doubtful) as he poured himself a third cup of Baileys. He hadn’t moved on, but he was unbothered. The only thing he would allow himself to care about was finding someone cold to wrap himself around.

……………

Kun walked out to the kitchen where Johnny sat with his laptop, his hands crossed over his stomach self-consciously. “Hey?” he asked, getting his attention, “I don’t think your jeans fit me. Do you have a belt, or…?”

Johnny looked him up and down, and something in his eyes made Kun shudder. He felt like he was being scanned, every single part of him being taken in. He still had a headache, though not as bad as earlier, and it was making him dizzy.

“Johnny?”

“Yeah!” he shook his head. “Yeah, I have a belt. One second.”

Kun followed him back into his bedroom, struck – not for the first time – at how similar the layout of Johnny’s room was to his college dorm. His bed was bigger but it was still against the wall, next to the large window. His plushie collection was bigger than when he last saw it. He still kept a hat stand for his beanies.

Johnny’s clothes were somewhat neatly folded into his closet, but Kun, just like he did years ago, thought he could have done it nicer.

“Here,” Johnny said, passing Kun a leather belt. Their fingers brushed as he accepted it and Kun wanted to hold onto that feeling forever.

“Thanks, Johnny,” Kun smiled. Johnny looked up and he felt scrutinised again, noting the darkness in Johnny’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Johnny blinked, and suddenly his eyes were looking everywhere at once. “Yeah, no problem. Don’t worry about it.”

Johnny left the room and Kun thinking maybe this was affecting both of them the same way.

……………

It was isolated in their part of the backyard, on the porch next to the two biggest pumpkins in the yard. Taeyong and Taeil had one of those benches that swing, and two-thirds of it was occupied by Johnny – generally big – and Kun – sitting halfway onto his lap.

Johnny was always cold, Kun remembered as he nuzzled into his neck. Somewhere in his brain, he thought maybe Johnny might be uncomfortable with the act. But he hadn’t said anything, even tilting his neck so Kun had more room to press in, so Kun took it as an invitation.

“Are you drunk?” he asked into Kun’s ear.

“Yes. Am I allowed?”

Johnny laughed and Kun felt it vibrate under his nose. “Of course you are. I could never tell you what to do.”

“Mm. I couldn’t tell you what to do, either.”

It wasn’t exactly silent; Jaehyun had put on some music that Kun could barely register, playing like a thrum at the back of his head. He knew he loved this song, but he couldn’t remember the name for the life of him.

“Is this okay?” Kun asked suddenly, pulling away to look at Johnny’s face. The energy he took to focus on it made him even sleepier, but he would endure.

“It’s totally okay,” Johnny replied warmly. “Reminds me of old times, actually.”

Kun hummed, pushing his face back into his collarbone. “I miss it. I miss,” he fumbled for the words, “Us. This. With you.”

The muscles in Johnny’s neck tightened, and Kun had a feeling he might have pushed it. Even in his inebriated state, he knew there were some boundaries he probably shouldn’t cross. He had a feeling he’d probably crossed a few already.

“I miss it too,” Johnny finally breathed. “I think about it a lot.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. About what could have been.”

“Me too.”

And Kun felt brave, then, so he reached over for one of Johnny’s hands – or gloved paws, rather – and grasped it between his fingers. He frowned when he felt something hard underneath it. “What?”

Johnny laughed nervously. “Uh, I kept my phone in there so I wouldn’t drop it.”

Kun sat up at full height now, not letting go of Johnny’s hand. “Still?”

Johnny bit his lip. “Still.” After a pause, “This is actually new. I broke my old phone two weeks ago.”

It was so ridiculous and so ridiculously _Johnny_ and Kun couldn’t help himself. He leaned over and placed a badly aimed kiss on his chin. “You’re cute,” he yawned, before letting his eyes droop shut.

……………

“Thanks so much for making me breakfast,” Kun sighed. “And charging my phone overnight. And finding it yesterday. I feel like I lost it.”

“You did,” Johnny grinned, “But it wasn’t hard to find.”

“But you really didn’t have to do all of this for me. Especially since –” Kun screeched to a halt, the alarm bells ringing in his head. Maybe he should find a way to phrase things differently. “We haven’t talked in a long time.”

Johnny’s “we were close once” from the night before rang in his head. Setting up those pumpkins was one of the things he remembered the most from the Halloween party. Everything else was slowly coming back to him, but it was all flashes and vague memories and hard to decipher.

The silence was endless and shifted his focus to his ongoing migraine, so Kun busied himself with rolling his minion outfit into the tote bag Johnny had given him. It had a Mickey Mouse on it, and Kun – to his horror – was so, _so_ endeared.

Johnny was at the kitchen counter and Kun was metres away by his sofa and it was excruciating.

“I’m sorry,” Johnny finally said. Kun decided this was important enough to stop avoiding meeting Johnny’s gaze. “When I moved back to Chicago, I just sucked at keeping in touch and –”

“You weren’t the only one,” Kun pointed out.

“No. But one of us could have tried, and it could have been me.”

“Or it could have been me.” Kun crossed his arms.

“It’s still –” Johnny closed his eyes running his hands through his hair. “I need physical affection, Kun. I needed someone to _be_ there. To hold.”

They’d had this discussion many times. Kun wasn’t as physically inclined as Johnny was, but he definitely preferred the physical presence of his loved ones to the online one. And he knew, in his heart of hearts, that he could never be in a relationship with someone who lived halfway across the country, with no intention of returning.

Johnny was worse. He was always touchy. He was always hugging his friends or patting them, throwing an arm around their shoulder. With Kun it was slightly more intimate, but it was still physical. He thrived off of it.

With Johnny being an exchange student and the tension between them obvious, their conversations about long distance relationship became an unspoken agreement never to start something with each other when they knew they couldn’t maintain it. But in the week leading up to Johnny leaving, something broke in both of them and kisses were exchanged and promises were made and for seven days, things were just like everything Kun had every dreamed of for the two of them.

It soon became apparent that was a mistake.

“Do you think if we hadn’t promised to try being together,” Kun started, “Things would have been different? It wouldn’t have hurt as much?”

Johnny pursed his lips. “No.”

“No?”

“I would have loved you either way.”

Kun’s throat felt scratchy and dry, and it wasn’t just the hangover. “That’s a good point.”

“I don’t regret anything, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Johnny wasn’t specific, but Kun knew exactly what he was saying. “Me neither.”

Johnny nodded and stuck back into his laptop. Kun didn’t find it rude – it was probably because Johnny had too many things to say and didn’t quite know how to process them. Kun himself had many things he wanted to ask, like ‘do you hate me for not trying harder?’ and ‘how much have I changed?’ and ‘would you try things out with me again?’

He settled for something else. “Why didn’t you tell me when you moved here?”

Kun saw Johnny’s fist clench over the keyboard, the gears turning in his head. “I’d like to think I would have contacted you eventually,” Johnny said carefully.

“But you didn’t.”

“I didn’t. I was terrified, to be honest.” Kun’s eyes followed his Adam’s apple as it moved up and down. “I didn’t think you’d be interested in even just talking to me again.”

“I was.”

“I realise that now.”

Kun terribly wanted to kiss him. He wanted to tell him he still loved him, probably. Most likely.

He didn’t. “I should get your number. You know, so I can return your bag and stuff.”

When Johnny looked up at him again, there was a glint in his eye – Kun’s favourite glint. There wasn’t a camera in the world that could properly capture it and Kun will always be bitter about that. “I can give you my number and you can just text me just like that.”

“Hmm,” Kun tapped his lip, “I’m not sure texting will be enough.”

“Then we can meet. You know, for fun.” Johnny rose from his bar stool and strode over to where Kun was standing. They were still separated by a whole couch, but it was unquestionably better than before.

“What kind of fun?”

“Oh, Kun!” Johnny raised an eyebrow, “You really are forward! Not that I mind –”

“Oh my god,” Kun rolled his eyes, “I just want to know if it’s a date or not.”

Johnny bit his lip. “I’d hope it was a date.”

“Good.” Kun was struck, again, with the need to kiss him, but he’d waited five years and he could wait a bit longer to do it again. “I should head off now if I’m going to catch my train.”

“Do you have to take the train? I’m more than happy to drive you.”

Kun had declined the offer when Johnny had asked him over breakfast, but the idea of spending a little bit longer with him was much more tempting now. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. You didn’t puke in my car last night, so I’m hoping you won’t do it again.”

“Shut up,” Kun giggled. “Fine.”

……………

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/singledadjohnny)   
>  [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/singledadjohnny)


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